Pair Bonding In Relation To Maslow’s Pyramid

by T. Allan Christopher
Originally Published via WiW, December 21, 2010

Recently I created this post. Now I want to go into further detail.

Did you know that love is not much more than chemical dependence? We can debate endlessly about opinions of love being associated with the soul or spirit. That love is an emotion, and emotions make us who we are, and that this is somehow tied to more than just brain chemistry. I prefer to look at it from a strictly scientific viewpoint, as I believe that is all that exists. Don’t mistake that for being a purely clinical viewpoint. I believe we feel what we feel. I just don’t add any hocus-pocus to that determination. Those who disagree should feel free to boycott all anti-depressants and psychiatric medications, as there is clearly something wrong with their soul, not their brain.

Let me introduce you to a mutual friend of ours, with a short summation from WikiPedia:

Oxytocin is a mammalian hormone that acts primarily as a neurotransmitter in the brain. Also known as alpha-hypophamine (α–hypophamine), oxytocin has the distinction of being the very first polypeptide hormone to be sequenced and synthesized biochemically by Vincent du Vigneaud et al. in 1953.^[1]

Oxytocin is best known for roles in female reproduction: 1) it is released in large amounts after distension of the cervixand uterus during labor, and 2) after stimulation of the nipples, facilitating birth and breastfeeding. Recent studies have begun to investigate oxytocin’s role in various behaviors, including orgasm, social recognition, pair bonding, anxiety, and maternal behaviors.^[2] For this reason, it is sometimes referred to as the “love hormone.” ^[3]

The most prudent point for this writing, is the very last thing stated in that summation, “it is sometimes referred to as the ‘Love hormone’.” The use of the term ‘Pair Bond’ is to generally describe monogamous, or mostly monogamous, relationships, both in humans and other mammals. Neurobiologicaly , Oxytocin plays a role in Pair, Maternal, Paternal, and even Human-animal bonding.

Maslow’s Pyramid: Improve Your Relationship!

Maslow's Hierarchy Of Needs

by T. Allan Christopher
Originally Published via WiW, December 20, 2010

What you see above is Maslow’s Hierarchy, or Pyramid, of Needs. It is a psychological theory proposed by Abraham Maslow in 1943. And while it mostly relates to describing stages of human growth, I find that it makes a lot of sense for relationships.

The higher up the pyramid you can manage to take your relationship, the more solid it will be. I think this relates to friendships, and on into marriage. Let’s diagnose each level.

Physiological: This is pretty simple. Before you can manage any sort of relationship, you need to be free and healthy. Able to survive and maintain your status as Human. Be sheltered, clothed, and able to eat and breath.

We’ll also include in this topic, that both parties involved in the relationship, whatever it may be, need to know and understand what that relationship is, and agree to it together.

Moon And Meaning

by T. Allan Christopher
Originally Published via WiW, November 23, 2010

Last night, as I lay in bed with my wife, Deanna, I noticed a very bright Moon through the window-shade. So I opened the shade up. The full moon had been just the night before, but this Waning Gibbous Moon looked as full as can be. It was so bright, and awe-inspiring.

There were clouds out in force last night. A front had moved in, and we dropped 40 degrees over a few hours. At differing elevations the clouds were various densities, and moving in disparate directions. At one moment the moon would be in clear sky, and the next it would be behind various layerings of cloud.

Describing such a thing with words is not easy to do. I was wishing like hell that my camera was still functional last night.

Laying there holding my wife and witnessing such a sight was more peaceful than I could probably ever describe. It did lead me down a philosophical path though, one which is quite dark in comparison to the Zen that was permeating through me. Two bleak philosophies, actually.

What are we? Humanity I mean. When it comes down to it, are we not much more than a plague upon Earth? A virus. We take and destroy, and offer nothing to our planet. Perhaps in death we make a good fertilizer. Aside from that, what have we to offer?